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Jun 05

How to Find Your Ideal Person

Finding the Right Person

….A Journey of Self-Discovery

In today’s fast-paced world, the search for meaningful connections can often feel like a daunting task. Whether you’re seeking a romantic partner, a close friend, or a mentor, finding your ideal person requires a combination of self-discovery, patience, and open-mindedness (to a degree!). This guide will help you navigate the journey towards discovering the person who complements and enhances your life.

7 Steps

  1. Know Yourself: Before diving into the quest for your ideal person, take the time to understand yourself better. Reflect on what is important to you – not just your values, passions, and goals. Consider How you like to spend your time, what is important to you – both in yourself and in others, How do you want to function in a relationship, how do you see your future, etc.  Why are you looking for someone?
  2. Be Picky…: It’s essential to be discerning and selective in your search for your ideal person. Being picky doesn’t mean being overly critical or unrealistic, but rather knowing what you truly value and deserve in a relationship. Identify your non-negotiables and prioritize qualities that are essential for long-term compatibility. By setting clear standards and boundaries, you empower yourself to attract individuals who align with your values and aspirations.  Create an idea of your ideal person – someone who connects with the total you.
  3. ….Then Be Open-Minded: While it’s essential to have a clear idea of what you’re looking for, it’s equally important to remain open-minded. Your ideal person may not fit the exact person you have in mind, and that’s perfectly okay. Being open-minded within the framework means being willing to explore connections with individuals who may not meet all of your initial criteria but still resonate with you on a deeper level. It’s about recognizing that compatibility goes beyond surface-level attributes and being open to the possibilities that arise from genuine connection and chemistry.
  4. Seek Shared Values: Shared values form the cornerstone of any strong relationship. Look for someone who shares your core beliefs and principles. Some dating websites utilize algorithms to match individuals based on compatibility factors, including values and lifestyle preferences – but be sure you are not just trusting that you know someone, talk about the big issues to learn about one another.
  5. Trust Your Instincts: When you meet someone who feels like a potential match, trust your instincts. Pay attention to how you feel when you’re around them. Do they make you feel comfortable and supported? Do you share a sense of mutual respect and understanding? Your intuition can be a powerful guide in recognizing whether someone is right for you – so don’t dismiss uncomfortable thoughts!
  6. Communicate Effectively: Effective communication is vital for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Be open and honest about your thoughts, feelings, and expectations. Talking to a therapist can help improve communication skills and navigate relationship challenges.
  7. Be Patient: Finding your ideal person takes time, so be patient and trust the process. Focus on enjoying the journey and cultivating meaningful connections along the way. Remember that the right person will come into your life when the time is right. In the meantime, focus on personal growth and self-improvement.

It’s A Journey

Finding your ideal person truly is a journey of self-discovery, growth, and connection. By knowing yourself, and “who” you are looking for, seeking shared values, trusting your instincts, communicating effectively, and practicing patience, you can attract and recognize the right person when they come into your life. Remember that the most fulfilling relationships are built on a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and love.

Embrace the journey, and trust that the universe has a way of bringing the right people into your life when you least expect it. Happy searching!

Life can be complicated, messy, and rarely progresses in a straight line.  PeoplePsych is a Chicago-based psychotherapy group that treats adults seeking profound change in their lives.  We provide services that affirm the dignity, worth, and value of all individuals. We strive to create a safe non-judgemental space for clients to explore the issues that bring them. To connect with one of our therapists, please contact our Clinical Coordinator at (312) 252-5252 or