Quarter Life Crisis

Feeling Like You’re Falling Behind

If you’re in your 20s and feel like everyone else is miles ahead, you’re not alone. That nagging sense of “falling behind” is a shared experience among people at this stage in life—and it’s been that way for generations. The term “quarter-life crisis” may sound modern, but the feelings behind it are timeless. Whether it’s your career, relationships, or personal growth, it can seem like everyone around you has it all figured out while you’re stuck in limbo. But here’s the truth: feeling lost in your mid-20s is normal, and it’s something people have struggled with for decades.

Look back at past generations: in the 1950s and ’60s, many people married young, started families early, and lived a life that seemed pre-defined. The crisis for them? Feeling isolated or trapped in roles they didn’t choose but felt obligated to fill. Flash forward to the 1980s—young adults were told they could “have it all,” but the reality of juggling career and family left many feeling burnt out and frustrated. Each generation faces its own version of this challenge, and while it might look different today, the core experience is the same: uncertainty, pressure, and the fear of not measuring up.

Today’s Quarter-Life Crisis

For most, the quarter-life crisis really starts to kick in after graduation. Life up until that point had structure—school provided a clear path, with each year bringing new goals and achievements. Once you’re in your mid-20s, however, that structure vanishes. Suddenly, you’re left to navigate your future without a roadmap.

You might find yourself in a job that doesn’t match your aspirations, still looking for stable work, or burdened by student debt. The goals you were working toward may now feel out of reach, and the life you envisioned seems further away than ever. Meanwhile, some of your friends seem to have hit their stride early—perfect job, perfect life, perfect Instagram. It’s hard not to compare yourself, but remember: social media only shows the highlights, not the struggles behind the scenes.

Pacing Yourself Through the Crisis

The key to surviving your quarter-life crisis is to understand that life isn’t a race. Everyone has a different timeline, and what looks like success for one person may not be the path you want to follow. Here are some strategies to help shift your mindset and regain control:

• Celebrate your wins. Take stock of your achievements so far, no matter how small they seem. Write them down and remind yourself of what you’ve already accomplished.
• Remember that life is fluid. If you feel stuck, know that things can change. Take action on areas where you can make improvements and be open to new possibilities.
• Set personal goals. Avoid letting societal pressures dictate your choices. Set short-term and long-term goals that align with your values and interests, not someone else’s.
• Be flexible with your career. Don’t feel trapped by your degree. Many people discover new passions and skills that lead them down completely different career paths. Explore what excites you.
• Reevaluate your relationships. Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Cut ties with those who bring negativity or toxicity into your life—life is too short to waste on draining relationships.
• Define your purpose. While finding your purpose takes time, start by reflecting on how you want to make an impact. This could help guide your career decisions or lead you to fulfilling volunteer work that aligns with your values.

How Therapy Can Help

Sometimes, navigating a quarter-life crisis can feel overwhelming, and it’s tough to figure out the next steps on your own. This is where working with a therapist can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist can help you:

• Gain clarity. Therapy provides a safe space to untangle your thoughts and feelings, allowing you to better understand what’s truly important to you and what is simply external pressure.
• Set realistic goals. A therapist can guide you in setting achievable, personalized goals that align with your values and vision for your future, rather than following someone else’s path.
• Manage anxiety and stress. The pressure to have everything figured out can lead to intense anxiety. Therapists are trained to help you develop coping strategies to manage stress and uncertainty.
• Challenge negative thought patterns. It’s easy to fall into the trap of negative thinking, such as “I’m behind” or “I’ll never be successful.” Cognitive-behavioral techniques can help you reframe these thoughts and adopt a more balanced perspective.
• Improve self-awareness. Therapy encourages self-reflection, which can help you better understand your desires, strengths, and areas for growth—empowering you to make informed decisions about your future.
• Enhance your relationships. If your friendships or romantic relationships are contributing to your quarter-life crisis, a therapist can help you evaluate those dynamics and improve communication or set boundaries.

Moving Forward

If you’re in the middle of a quarter-life crisis, know that it’s temporary. Talk to older generations, and you’ll find that they faced similar struggles at your age. Life is full of ups and downs, but once you figure out what you truly want and take steps toward it, the effort will pay off. It may not always feel this way, but this stage of life is just that—a stage. And like all stages, it will eventually pass, leaving you stronger and more self-assured for having navigated it.

A therapist can walk with you through this uncertain time, helping you turn the crisis into an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and empowerment.

Life can be complicated, messy, and rarely progresses in a straight line.  PeoplePsych is a Chicago-based psychotherapy group that treats adults seeking profound change in their lives.  We provide services that affirm the dignity, worth, and value of all individuals. We strive to create a safe non-judgemental space for clients to explore the issues that bring them. To connect with one of our therapists, please contact our Clinical Coordinator at (312) 252-5252 or intake@peoplepsych.com.