The death of someone you care about is never easy….and although we might try, it is impossible to prepare for the pain of the loss.
The pain that comes is unpredictable and inescapable. Grief lingers – not always as constant but it stays and takes root. The one truth is that life is forever changed and, for now, things feel meaningless, gray, and empty.
Losing someone close to you, whatever the relationship, affects how you understand yourself and the world around you. It might feel like as you’re moving through your life, so much is familiar but at the same time, everything is just a bit distorted. And at times you just want everything and everyone to stop.
Too often, it feels like you are supposed to pause briefly to grieve and move on with your life like nothing happened. But how can you since everything has changed? So on top of the grief, you worry that you’re pushing people away. Friends don’t know what to say – and others are dealing with their own grief. The world has lost its beauty and its hope.
No we can’t erase your pain. We can help you process your grief on your terms and move through the pain of loss. Slowly you will start to feel the weight of your loss lift.
We see grief as being an individual process that focuses on two primary actions through which the mourner moves back and forth:
The Dual Process Model of grief demonstrates that it is healthy to experience grief in doses. Sometimes you will directly address your loss – sometimes you will more actively focus on life tasks and practical needs.
In therapy, the focus of the sessions moves back and forth between the actions. Our work allows you to process the feelings related to your loss, while at the same time taking care of your needs – taking care of your life. You set the pace. Some days your focus is more on your feelings of grief, others it is on your life and building your future.
You will still mourn the loss, but the weight of the pain is lessened. You start to have fewer bad days. Not that you are forgetting or “getting over” anything – you are moving forward. Your relationship with your loved one having evolved from one of acute pain to one more reflective of the totality of their relationship with you.
Donna Livesey is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who specializes in grief and trauma therapy.
Donna has specialized training in grief counseling and is a Suicide Bereavement Trained Clinician from the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP). She considers her relationship with each client an honor to be respected.
From the first interaction, she strives to understand who you are and how you are functioning through your grief. She does not see you as broken, but simply as someone who is doing your best to make it through the unimaginable loss you have experienced.
She helps you gain compassion for all of the feelings you are experiencing and to toss out any timetable you might have imposed on yourself. She sees your process as unique to you and helps you make sense of what you feeling.
In addition to her clinical practice in Chicago, Donna is also a clinician volunteer at American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP).
If you, or someone you know, are struggling with the loss of someone feel free to contact Donna directly at donna@peoplepsych.com email or 312-809-7016 to learn more about her and to see if she is the right therapist for you.
